Honoring Marriage

Sitting in my cozy chair by the fireplace, my eyes scan the room around me.  Its full of lovely things that I cherish.  Chubby Bear, my 3 yr old lab cuddles at my feet, an 80yr old Kawaii upright that suffers through my unmelodious practice sessions, a snake plant that has quickly outgrown its beginner’s pot, and four beautifully crafted photo frames that carry the pictures of the most beloved people in my life. It crosses my mind that I could change some of these things – someday I’d like to paint my piano blue, as beautiful as these picture frames are, I could create my own with a personal touch and I must get to HomeDepot to get a bigger planter. But how I marvel at and oh so love the things that God spoke into existence and that I cannot change or create on my own – my cross-eyed puppy, the stiff-leaved snake plant, and each person whose image is held by those picture frames.

You see me setting the scene to make a point, don’t you? Well, you’re not wrong. It should be distinctly clear to us what humans create and define and what God spoke into existence – the sun, the stars, every living thing, the mighty mountains, and the vast oceans all came to be just by the power of His word. You know what else was spoken into existence by God himself? Marriage. The Bible reads: “Then the Lord said. “It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him…So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man…Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh.” Gen 2 v 18-24

Every other relationship, though still ordained by God, transpired over time – children were born, siblings came about, friendships and neighborly relations developed, so on and so forth.  Our world is filled with all sorts of relationships.  Yet marriage is so exclusive in that God created it, defined it, and set purpose to it from the very beginning. And this is good news! We can count on marriage enduring when lived out within the parameters and purposes set by the One who created it.

So, why did God create marriage? I believe the purpose is laid out clearly in the Word.

1. For Companionship – The Lord said that it is not good for man to be alone (“It is not good that the man should be alone” – Gen2 v 18).

2. To help to the other – We are assigned the specific task of helping the other (“I will create a helper fit for him”- Gen 2 v 18).

3. To form a distinct familial unit under the authority of God (“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother” – Gen 2 v 24)

4. Establish a monogamous, intimate relationship (… “and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh”. – Gen 2 v 24)

5. To procreate – (Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth Gen 1 v 28).

6. To be the human personification of the relationship between Christ and the church. (“This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church – Ephesians 5 v 32)

No matter where you are in your marriage journey – searching for the one, newly married, or married 10, 20, or 70 years- there is a desperate need for us to return to these basics. Our issues either with the idea of marriage or in our personal marriages can be linked to our deviation from what God has established it to be.

One thing that becomes clear is that for a marriage to be God honoring, He must be holding it together.  Marriage is hard. It is very broken humans role-playing in a spiritually profound mystery. We cannot do it well on our own. Surrender your brokenness, inabilities, and weaknesses to the Holy Spirit and He will help you! We need to be reminded that marriage is created, established, sustained, and purposed by God. And for this very reason, marriage is a extremely serious, consequential, and joy-filled matter.

To think that of the billions of people on earth, you zone in on one and decide that you are going to spend your entire lives committed to them. Even as I write this, I am so acutely aware of how uncharacteristic and lofty a goal this is for the very self-centered and broken people that we are. But because we are created in His image, His will takes the form of instinct for even the ungodly. And we get to step into this profound creation. Truly there are no other earthly relationships as wonderous and spectacular as marriage simply because of its supernatural mystery.

So, next time you look at your spouse, I hope you are in awe and wonder of how amazing it is that you love them and they love you and how good our God is, who proclaims that what He has put together let no man put asunder. (Matthew 19 v 6)