Peer Pressure

Today’s question is a really good one. It comes from one of our younger listeners and its about peer pressure.

Young or not, all of us can relate to feeling some degree of pressure to conform to the world around us. It might start off with things like style of dressing, taste in music, secrecy from parents then move to matters like alcoholism, drug use, premarital sexual activity, and then later on things like jobs, cars, houses… the list of temptations to be accepted and look like or preferably better than everyone else around us never ends. It is one of those deceptive rabbit holes that trick you into thinking that it will make everything better. But instead of landing in a wonderful place, you realize that it just keeps going.

We all have faced this and can relate to this particular listener and so I thank you for this question.

We all know that this is indeed pressure or a more apt and effective word is temptation and that we must resist it. But being children of God, HE gives us the wisdom to know that we not just need to resist it, we must resist it for the right reason because this is indeed the way to resist it effectively.

In Romans 12 v 2, we read

 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect”.

In this verse, Paul reminds us that seeking God and seeking the approval of the world are in opposition to each other. This is a serious matter for a Christian because from the moment we were saved, the holy Spirit is working in us such a sanctification that we might look more and more like our God. And we are acting in opposition to this spiritual transformation that is happening when we set ourselves on a path that is bound to take us further and further away from Him.

So, there are three helpful pointers in this verse that will help us with the issue of peer pressure, or temptation, whatever you want to call it. The first is

1. Be confident in being different – The verse says “Do not be conformed to this world”. Resist the falsity that being and acting like everyone else around you is the coolest way to fit in and be accepted. It truly isn’t. What attracted everyone to Jesus was that He was so different than every other religious person around. The people desired the acceptance of the Pharisees but as much as they tried they felt more and more rejected. They were the cool dudes of their culture. But Jesus- He didn’t dress like them, He didn’t talk like them, He didn’t act like them. He was so different and even 2000 years later we are so inspired, even by the help of the Holy Spirit, to be more like Him. So, be okay with being different knowing that He understands this feeling and was subject to the same rejection you may be experiencing for not conforming, and yet He was so empowered in doing so,
2. Renew your mind – . To feel less pressured by the world, we must value less their acceptance of us. We must care less for how others feel about us and what we believe, what we wear, how we live. We should desire more to be pleasing to God. But how do you do this? How do you stop caring about how your friends feel or talk about you. The Bible says to be transformed by the renewing your mind. The truth is you can look like Jesus on the outside but be conformed to this world on the inside. You can dress conservatively, not drink, and not do drugs and live a simple life but there is the danger of none of this coming from a renewed mind and a transformed heart. It could be just the swapping of a list of worldly desires for a list of moral laws. It is meaningless if not done in humility, mercy and love because it is borne out of the fruit of the Spirit. If not transformed by the Spirit, our minds are making decisions for our own glory and not for the glory of God. This then renders all in vain. You might as well do as you please because it surely doesn’t please God. So, commune with the Spirit and submit to His reminding, teaching and transforming you daily.
3. Test everything – every opportunity, every choice or any pressure (or temptation) that you feel. It could be something as simple as style of dressing, or topics of discussion in your friends circle to even more detrimental matters like engaging in gossip, drinking excessively, sleeping around, buying a home you can’t afford just to keep up with the Joneses. Each of us know what we struggle with. This verse reminds us that we should test it to know God’s will and what pleases Him. This is done through prayer and reading the Word. We know God as He reveals him self to us in His word. And knowing Him means knowing what pleases Him. Also, this discernment helps us differentiate between who’s opinion matters in our lives and to use wisdom in knowing how far to go to please our friends.

Thank you so much for the question. I hope that this powerful verse and many others will continue to guide you and lead you as you grow in Christ.

Listeners, remember that you can send us any questions that you would like us to give a Biblical perspective on. Email me at cynthia@pickupyourbible.com or DM a question on our instagram page – pick up your bible.

Until next time God bless.

Peer pressure – How do I stay strong when everyone around me is doing something and I know that God doesn’t want me to do that?