In our PUYB series on relationships, so far we’ve talked about familial relationships as that between child and parent, and that of siblings. This week, we step outside the family and into the world of friendship.
We are created in the image of our triune God and therefore thrive in community. We live our most fruitful life in relationships. We must all have friends to do this life with – to give to and to receive from. God has intentionally chosen and established people in your life – your parents and your siblings; but saw it fit that you be responsible to pick out your friends. Have you heard the saying “Friends are family we chose for ourselves”? There is truth to that after all. But we needn’t struggle through this responsibility and make countless mistakes as we try to find good friends. Through the Bible, God guides us in wisdom on how to choose, protect and celebrate our friendships and I encourage you to be so intentional to accrue this wisdom for each of these three phases.
When it comes to choosing friends, make use of the guidance in Proverbs 13 v 20 that says – “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harm”. In Proverbs 12 v 26, we are reminded that – we must choose our friends carefully, because in the presence of the ungodly we are led astray.
As we form relationships we must care for these friends. Friendships, as beautiful as they are, are also very delicate and are not guaranteed to last. For example, sibling relationship could probably survive a bout of jealousy but it would kill a friendship. A parent-child relationship could possibly survive a lack of respect but a friendship would wither away in its absence. The truth is that friendships lack the robustness and the guarantees that accompany the tested familial bonds and must therefore be delicately cared for by intentional choices of love, care, and forgiveness. The Bible tells us to encourage each other and build each other up (1 Thessalonians 5v11), to bear each other and forgive one another (Colossians 3 v 13), and to be devoted to one another in love (Romans 12 v 10).
Now, some of us can fall into the trap of glorifying friendship to the extent that it becomes an idol. As followers of Christ, we find many beautiful things in friendship, but our security and identity should not be among them. Being demanding and needy in our friendships is a sure sign that we are going down this path. All our friendships should be consistently leading us to see Christ more clearly and to seek Him out more diligently.
Within friendships we daily practice the fruit of the Spirit and we are being molded into the image of Christ. As iron sharpens iron, one sharpens the other (Proverbs 27v17) and we stir up each other to love and good works. We exhort and encourage each other (Hebrews 10 v 24, Hebrews 3 v 13). And as we celebrate each other (Romans 12 v 15) we also help the other stand firm till the end (Matthew 24 v 13).
Let the Word of God be a beautiful and useful resource to you in your friendships and may you grow closer to the very best friend whose love was so great that He laid down His life for you. What a friend we have in Jesus!!!
Pick Up Your Bible 